Discolor Online

Despite my ability to access the web, I can't send mail from my work accounts. This means that although I can receive the mail from people wondering why the hell Hero Indy Clix is considered a game of its own, or why I haven't answered their Very Important Customer Service Query from Thursday, I can't answer them. Even though Evan announced on the Green Ronin front page that the office was shut down for the week because we're all in Columbus, people are finding their way to the website to click on the customer service feedback link but missing the announcement that there's no one on the other end of the line right now.

Makes it hard to relax when I know that sort of thing is hanging out there, but not much I can do about it until I get back to Seattle.

Meanwhile, Pramas and I are still in Columbus (because the extra $107 for an additional day of hotel made more sense than the $200 per ticket it would have cost to leave when we wanted to. Hal left with the McGlothlins this morning, and I believe Mr. Kenson has also flown home today. Greg and the Amazing Robert Schwalb left last night and both are safely home already. I think I'm going to try to pry Pramas away from his WRFP development and go off to see Fahrenheit 9/11 tonight or something.

It was great to see people, even if I was in a rather volatile mood for some of the con. I apologize to Anaka for not being able to remember anything but her LJ name when we were in the bar (and I was well into my fourth double scotch); was very glad she was able to make it after all. Graveyard Greg and I recognized Adam Jury in the bar from his LJ photo, and Michael Lee, Jeff, Mearlsand Rodney all stopped by the booth for a chat, even if it was a brief one.

Now I think it's off to the hotel whirlpool for me. I have some freakin' relaxation to do.

Origins 2004 is officially over.

Green Ronin had our best Origins ever, helped in no small part by the fact that we had several new releases timed to be available at the show, and that we had several skilled demoers and events running every day, as well as the efforts the GAMA staff and volunteers made to get more people into the dealer's hall every day. I'm so miserable about the way the elections and associated GAMA political shit has worked out, and yet so pleased to have been proved right in what we did all year leading up to this show.

I just returned from a company dinner celebration at Buca di Beppo here in Columbus, and after resting for a few minutes I will change clothes and head over to the "Dead Dog Party" for the Origins volunteers to express my sincere thanks for all they've done to make this Origins the best ever. I'm constantly amazed at the wonderful, giving volunteers we have on our team, and even though I've been thrown out on my ear for my efforts, I can't help but look upon this convention and everyone associated with it with no small amount of love and pride. We were a kickass team and we accomplished a hell of a lot this year.

I'm deeply saddened to find out that the newly elected board of directors have, in private and without consulting me whatsoever (within four days of being elected) created an "Origins Awards Task Force" and hired one of their key supporters to a paid administrative position to head it. Had I been consulted, I would have enthusiastically supported their choice to head this "task force" because I agree that he is a wonderful choice for the position. And I do not object at all to his being paid for his work, because I know first hand how much work is involved in all this GAMA stuff! He has mouths to feed, as we all do, and I do not begrudge him even one cent of his proposed stipend...not in the slightest. Still, I cannot deny that I am deeply hurt that I did not even merit the basic courtesy of consultation with the board after my four years of service as a board member and my hellish year of Academy Chairmanship. I'm not surprised that Ryan Dancey doesn't care what I think, but I would have thought that the most basic overture would be made in my direction before an action like this, especially since I am still the Academy Chairman (as they've neither removed me from the position nor have I officially resigned, though both options have been discussed in private).

The most offensive bit is that the current board ran a campaign of accusations and insinuations, and made no secret of their outrage at the fact that the former board hired one of their own (after a full search and review of half a dozen serious candidates). The insinuation that the former board was hiring its friends, or worse, planning to line their own pockets by hiring each other to paying positions,m was key to the campaign waged by the Dancey/Stever faction. Much hoo ha over "transparency" was floated to the whole freakin' internet every time the former board took any action whatsoever... and then a mere four days into the "new regime" they turn around and hire one of their key supporters to a paid position without consulting either the membership or the current volunteers affected by their decisions. I worked very hard as Academy Chair, and I am proud that I was able to accomplish anything at all in the hostile climate under which volunteers and staff alike labored for most of the last 12 months, and I did it all for FREE.

I briefly attended the Hall of Fame banquet event last night, but was unable to stay for the whole thing due to other obligations. I did make an appearance as the Academy Chair in order to thank all of our guests of honor, Hall of Fame members, and other attendees. I thanked them for coming, apologized that I was unable to stay for the duration as I had hoped to do, and tried to make it around to every table to at least meet and talk with each Hall of Fame member before I left. Except for the table where one of the members of the new board was sitting: when I approached that table and began to address them and thank them for coming and apologize for not being able to stay as planned, that member of the board stood up and said, "Let's go get something to eat," and walked away with most of the rest of the table joining him. To say I felt horribly snubbed and discarded would only give you the faintest hint of how horrible I felt.

They have certainly done their best to make it clear that I am unwelcome in any capacity, but my company has paid its voting dues and believe you me I will be making my voice heard for the duration of my GAMA membership. It's no secret that they do not value my contributions, but I know that I've done better and contributed more than they're willing to give me credit for, and their denials of me do not change the facts.

Now, off to the party to celebrate the best Origins ever, the best Green Ronin Origins ever, and some of the most under-valued, hardest-working, most wonderful people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing and working with. As much as it sucks sometimes to have a conscience and a sensitive heart, there are also the benefits of being able to feel something other than petty hatred and selfishness. I can't say the same for some of the so-called industry "luminaries" GAMA has been graced with in this (as one member put it) "mostly bloodless coup." I take great comfort knowing that I'm better than that, and so are the people with whom I will be spending my time.

Peace out.

Origins has been going gangbusters! Wow, I've been so busy and my legs and feet are KILLING me because I've been standing and walking so much, but we're selling the heck out of our new releases and people are just loving Torches & Pitchforks. Christopher McGlothlin, author of Time of Crisis, has been wonderful with his tireless demoing. We've also been hosting Matt and Tim from Human Head, who are showing off the Dracula's Revenge board game. People have been really enjoying Rob's Freeport events, and Graveyard Greg was sweet enough to help us out with our Mutants & Masterminds and Skull & Bones event.

As tiring and stressful as conventions can be, there is also the wonderful chance to talk to our fans, to show our games to new players, to spend time with our industry friends and colleagues, to see the glowing enjoyment young and old alike experience while playing games, painting miniatures, meeting interesting guests and luminaries...conventions are a rollercoaster ride of all the best and some of the worst of the industry. Despite all of the stuff I've been through so far this week that has been awful, there's no denying that we've been surrounded by all of the best as well.

The awards show was a bit nerve-wracking as we had some technical troubles (from the wrong equipment for showing a contracted video to missing the special tool used to put together the Calliopes) and some missing guests and presenters, but overall I was very relieved and pleased at the way it went. I ended up having far too much time in the spotlight as I presented some awards myself and presided over some of the Hall of Fame inductions. I much prefer not to be in the spotlight, but literally ended up in the spotlight at this show.

Despite the cruel comments made by people who were not interested in seeing Luke Ski perform at the awards, even the person who (prior to the ceremony) told me that he didn't intend to come because it sounded like a horrible waste of three hours of his life somehow decided to attend anyway and later admitted (literally in passing) that it all turned out ok. In fact, Luke's performance of "Stealing Like a Hobbit" was a nice break between the sad memorial for Don Turnbull and the remainder of the awards for the night.

I was incredibly honored to be able to be a part of the ceremony to honor the contributions of all of our Hall of Fame members. I was a grinning fool just to be present to see our assembled members, let alone have the pleasure of being allowed to personally, formally induct Reiner Knizia into the Hall of Fame.

Tonight was the Hall of Fame banquet, where attendees and exhibitors were able to buy a ticket that included a nice buffet meal and the opportunity to sit with and discuss game design or whatever else struck your fancy with the likes of Sandy Peterson, Jim Dunnigan, Liz Danforth, Lou Zocchi, and all of the other attendees. Unfortunately for me, I was only able to attend the banquet for a brief time, just long enough to thank everyone for attending and apologize that I was expected at another event.

Tomorrow is the last day of the convention. I expect to hear a report that the numbers are up and that we are going to beat our projections. I'm trying to think of what I can do after the convention to thank the tireless efforts of GAMA's staff and Volunteers. They have worked so amazingly hard to make sure this convention was a smooth-running as possible, and that any difficulties were handled as quickly and with as little disruption as possible. SO much of what GAMA's people have done has been to shield everyone else from anything that might detract from them getting their full enjoyment out of their convention experience. Certainly there will always be incidents, challenges, and difficulties but I believe this convention has reflected wonderfully well on everyone involved and they deserve the deepest thanks of everyone dedicated to the game play and enjoyment.

Origins has been going gangbusters! Wow, I've been so busy and my legs and feet are KILLING me because I've been standing and walking so much, but we're selling the heck out of our new releases and people are just loving Torches & Pitchforks. Christopher McGlothlin, author of Time of Crisis, has been wonderful with his tireless demoing. We've also been hosting Matt and Tim from Human Head, who are showing off the Dracula's Revenge board game. People have been really enjoying Rob's Freeport events, and Graveyard Greg was sweet enough to help us out with our Mutants & Masterminds and Skull & Bones event.

As tiring and stressful as conventions can be, there is also the wonderful chance to talk to our fans, to show our games to new players, to spend time with our industry friends and colleagues, to see the glowing enjoyment young and old alike experience while playing games, painting miniatures, meeting interesting guests and luminaries...conventions are a rollercoaster ride of all the best and some of the worst of the industry. Despite all of the stuff I've been through so far this week that has been awful, there's no denying that we've been surrounded by all of the best as well.

The awards show was a bit nerve-wracking as we had some technical troubles (from the wrong equipment for showing a contracted video to missing the special tool used to put together the Calliopes) and some missing guests and presenters, but overall I was very relieved and pleased at the way it went. I ended up having far too much time in the spotlight as I presented some awards myself and presided over some of the Hall of Fame inductions. I much prefer not to be in the spotlight, but literally ended up in the spotlight at this show.

Despite the cruel comments made by people who were not interested in seeing Luke Ski perform at the awards, even the person who (prior to the ceremony) told me that he didn't intend to come because it sounded like a horrible waste of three hours of his life somehow decided to attend anyway and later admitted (literally in passing) that it all turned out ok. In fact, Luke's performance of "Stealing Like a Hobbit" was a nice break between the sad memorial for Don Turnbull and the remainder of the awards for the night.

I was incredibly honored to be able to be a part of the ceremony to honor the contributions of all of our Hall of Fame members. I was a grinning fool just to be present to see our assembled members, let alone have the pleasure of being allowed to personally, formally induct Reiner Knizia into the Hall of Fame.

Tonight was the Hall of Fame banquet, where attendees and exhibitors were able to buy a ticket that included a nice buffet meal and the opportunity to sit with and discuss game design or whatever else struck your fancy with the likes of Sandy Peterson, Jim Dunnigan, Liz Danforth, Lou Zocchi, and all of the other attendees. Unfortunately for me, I was only able to attend the banquet for a brief time, just long enough to thank everyone for attending and apologize that I was expected at another event.

Tomorrow is the last day of the convention. I expect to hear a report that the numbers are up and that we are going to beat our projections. I'm trying to think of what I can do after the convention to thank the tireless efforts of GAMA's staff and Volunteers. They have worked so amazingly hard to make sure this convention was a smooth-running as possible, and that any difficulties were handled as quickly and with as little disruption as possible. SO much of what GAMA's people have done has been to shield everyone else from anything that might detract from them getting their full enjoyment out of their convention experience. Certainly there will always be incidents, challenges, and difficulties but I believe this convention has reflected wonderfully well on everyone involved and they deserve the deepest thanks of everyone dedicated to the game play and enjoyment.

From a just about every perspective I could hold, Thursday at Origins was fantastic.

Green Ronin had excellent traffic at the booth, lots of enthusiastic participants in our Torches & Pitchforks and Dracula's Revenge demos, and best-ever sales for a first day at Origins. We have such a great group of booth volunteers and demo guys this year. Even my demo guys who couldn't come to the show at the last minute overwhelmingly went out of their way to make sure I had everything I might need, including giving me their adventures for others to run, color character sheets complete with illos of their villains and so on.

From an operational perspective, even though our team was booted off the board and the staff utterly demoralized by the new regime, it doesn't diminish what they've accomplished under tremendous stress this year. Origins attendance for the first day was up by 46% or something crazy like that and many, many of those people were in the exhibit hall (which was a major complaint from exhibitors last year...so many good events, attendees didn't come to the exhibit hall because they were busy gaming 23.5 hours a day). The computers did not go down during registration, and despite the increased crowds the longest line of the day was only 36 minutes. Not to say everything has gone uniformly smoothly, or that no attendees have had issues, those things always pop up on an individual basis. Judging the organizational foundations we've set up here, I can still take pride in the job being well done, and so I shall.

Two volunteers were assigned to help me handle Origins Awards-related tasks and they worked their asses off for me yesterday. These women spent four hours going around to the attendees to gather samples of their nominated products for the display, for just one example. Tonight is the Origins Awards Ceremony and the Hall of Fame 30th anniversary celebration. Mark Santillo, the Origins events manager, went all out in honor of our Hall of Famers and his goal was to bring every living Hall of Famer to the show. If he didn't manage to do it, he got as close as possible, and I'm extremely honored to be part of this event tonight. The New Regime may well intend to enact the Dancey Platform of a complete tear-down of the Origins Awards but tonight at least we have the opportunity to honor our gaming roots going all the way back to the Charles Roberts Awards. Any bitter assholes who have the balls to actually attend this gathering and then come and share their opinions to my face (and that includes my otherwise sensible colleague who opined that Origins is a "Nice little con, but GenCon does everything it does, and better," based on attending it once years ago) are welcome to find me after the show and do so.

After about 11:00pm tonight, I'm not going to give a damn anyway.

So, the elections were the farce and travesty some of us feared they were going to be. After spending the first half of the general membership meeting going over all of the incredibly positive things accomplished by the current GAMA board and staff, it was all completely moot because the opposition slate walked in with handfuls of voting proxies from companies who could not even be bothered to attend the meeting...in some cases, companies who joined the organization as voting members mere minutes before the start of the meeting. There was never any open, honest debate. There was no fair consideration of the qualifications of the candidates. The fate of the candidates not part of the "Fair, Firm, and Friendly" party was sealed by handshakes amongst friends and business partners behind the scenes before the meeting even started and I found the whole thing utterly appalling.

The only thing left hanging over my head now is the Origins Awards ceremony for the year, which I'm sure to take unending rafts of shit for but will see through to the end nonetheless. After that, I wish them good luck and good riddance.

Through pure happenstance, I dropped by R&C's unannounced and happened upon a planned gathering, where Bill and Chris and Rev and Jenny and visiting Peter were assembled to watch Badder Santa (the DVD release of Bad Santa). We were enticed to stay for the film, and oh, it was worth it. What a wonderful, awful, fantastic film!

It was nice to see Peter on his West Coast vacation, as we've missed him on two other occasions. As others have said, I wouldn't have known him with his new clean-shaven, short-haired look, but I've had months to get used to it through his Livejournal.

Apparently, Rev's car was stolen again! Either he's a nexus for weird bad luck, or he's got a wacky secret stalker. Weird!

Chris and I catch the red-eye in mere minutes, so I'd better split. Will post updates concerning my bid for GAMA President and the Origins Awards as time allows.

It's four o'clock in the freakin' morning. It was hot yesterday, and the entire neighborhood is sleeping with windows open, because Seattle doesn't have air conditioning.

Hint to my neighbors: Now is not a good time to have the tow truck that is dropping your junky car off worry about meticulously backing it into exactly the parking spot you want in front of my house.

Yes, you did wake me from a dead sleep (the best sleep I'd been having all week, thanks) because of the incessant beeping of the tow truck. No, I don't typically hang out on my front porch at four o'clock in the morning.

Hint to my other neighbors with the house alarm or car alarm or whatever it is that's been whoop, whoop, whooping for the last twenty minutes: just because you can sleep through this racket does not mean that the rest of the neighborhood remains blissfully undisturbed. Get up and shut the damn thing off already.

Recently, a platform of candidates announced their intentions to run for GAMA offices at the upcoming elections on Wednesday. Their slate of officers includes Don Perrin for President, Doug Ferguson (of Pokemon USA) for Vice President, and Ryan Dancey for Treasurer.

I, also, intend to run again this year. After four years on the board as an at-large director, I am stepping forward for the seat of President, left vacant by the current President who is not running for re-election.

I'm including here my platform (shared with others on the board who have graciously agreed to run again after a gruelling 12 months) and my admittedly long position statement. None of us take this decision to run again lightly.


We would like to announce our intention to run for the following positions:

Nicole Lindroos, candidate, GAMA President
John Kaufeld, candidate, GAMA Vice President
Bruce Neidlinger, candidate, GAMA Treasurer

We feel we are appropriate choices for those positions due to our previous experience with GAMA and feel that the results in 2003/2004 justify our election. We are dedicated people who work hard and this is what we will do when we are elected to the GAMA BOD. We are not including candidates for the position of Secretary as we feel that Brian Dalrymple is an excellent choice for that position.

We feel that GAMA has several important tasks that must be accomplished:
* Continue the successful administration of the GAMA Trade Show and Origins
* Continue to professionalize and improve GAMA's current staff and infrastructure
* Improve financial and member information accounting and reporting
* Increase programmatic spending
* Increase affinity programs and other direct benefits
* Increase awareness of GAMA's indirect benefits
* Increase membership on the manufacturer level to increase access to affinity programs

GENERAL POSITION STATEMENT

As we enter the mid-point of 2004, GAMA finds itself emerging from a period of growth and transition and about to enter a time of unprecedented success and stability. We have arrived at this moment because of the hard work of the game industry's volunteers, GAMA's staff and GAMA's Board of Directors. The upcoming election will be about the big choices GAMA's members have to make to secure prosperity across the board for game manufacturers and their strategic partners. The GAMA Board stands ready to meet that challenge and to build on our achievements.

For the first time, GAMA has issued an Annual Report that clearly outlines the state of the organization. From that report, we can see that GAMA is in the best shape of its history. The fiscal controls instituted over the last two years have paid off with unprecedented financial stability, allowing GAMA to increase its programmatic spending and offer more benefits to its members. New centralized offices in Columbus have strengthened our relationship with the city and improved GAMA's accessibility to vendors and our enthusiastic pool of students and volunteers. We have filled long-vacant positions, expanding GAMA's ability to communicate to its members and to the public at large. Our convention operations have provided attendees with improved programming, negotiated and secured favorable contracts with venues and vendors, and have increased both attendance and attendee satisfaction. Good programs bring people in and well-executed programming keeps them coming back.

This moment is one of possibility, but success is not guaranteed. We must remember that GAMA's achievements were accomplished only through creativity and hard work; with a willingness to innovate and imagine; and always with a commitment to GAMA's mission of promoting the general interest of all persons engaged in the buying, selling, licensing, or manufacturing of gaming products. And all of it can stall under the wrong leadership. We believe that to further the general interests of the game industry we need not abandon the course which has been set leading into these elections.

THE PLATFORM

Staff Retention
GAMA must work to retain its current staff. As a non-profit, GAMA, cannot provide rewards in terms of money and benefits in line with comparable jobs in the corporate world. People who work for non-profit organizations do so because they have a passion for the organization's mission, and extra care must be taken that trained, motivated, devoted staff members do not work in an environment where they are allowed to burn out. GAMA must continue to professionalize its staff and firm up its infrastructure. We must be diligent to maintain staffing levels so that, in turn, the staff can be tasked with realistic, achievable goals and experience an environment of success, trust, and respect. GAMA must secure appropriate benefits for its employees and reward them for their successes with appropriate bonuses, flex time, and chance for promotion.

Fiscal Discipline
We must continue the fiscal discipline that has been the hallmark of the past two years. This means we must continue to run Origins Game Expo and the GAMA Trade Show well and increase GAMA's discretionary budget. Now that the offices are centralized, we must finish installing our internal control and financial reporting system. We must generate more frequent reports and establish audit procedures that have been lacking throughout the association's history.

Commitment to Member Benefits
We must use our unprecedented prosperity to secure more benefits for our membership. This process has begun already with the implementation of member rebates for GAMA members exhibiting at Origins and the GAMA Trade Show, and the affinity program with Krause Publications for advertising discounts and subscription services for GAMA members. Other benefits are already in process, including a plan for outreach to local and national media outlets and enacting focused press releases for member companies, and a massive internet services revamp that will increase the look, ease of use, and general functionality of GAMA's website, mailing lists, bulletin boards, and chat rooms. We must continue to dedicate staff attention to GAMA's web presence so that it works better, costs less, and is in line with the rest of the on-line world. We must provide the membership with more opportunity to participate in key decisions and communicate with the public at large. We must institute a membership Welcome Kit that outlines the member benefits, staff contacts, and resources at each member's disposal, to be delivered immediately upon joining the organization. We will create member toolkits to help fight digital piracy, to publicize venues for product reviews and awards, and to extend a GAMA member discount from national suppliers and shippers, including Office Depot, Staples, Federal Express, UPS, Kinko's and more.

Seizing Opportunities
The game industry's strength lies in the creativity and innovation of its members. GAMA must do more to enhance existing alliances between publishers, retailers, wholesalers, conventioneers, and the media. We will continue expanding the breadth of GTS attendees by inviting companies that supply our business needs, including printers, designers, fixtures suppliers, and business consultants. We must strive to open new markets to gaming products in North America and around the world. Increased cooperation and trade with partners in other game, toy, and hobby industries ultimately leads to further innovations, stability, and growth in our sector. Using the position of GAMA Ambassador, we will undertake a membership drive and outreach program and increase membership and participation of all eligible companies. We will establish, train, and promote a member-focused GAMA speaker's bureau that's available to groups around the country.

To accomplish these things, we need the right tools. We need to continue on the course we've set, applying the considerable talents of our staff and volunteers to the task of addressing the challenges that we recognize before us without derailing the abundant progress and momentum that has already been achieved.

Let's hope the voting membership agrees.

Well, not so very frightening but I couldn't resist the title.

Thursday night I was jolted awake by what seemed like a distant explosion. Groggy, not entirely sure I hadn't dreamed the noise, I was laying tensely in my bed and listening intently for any other noise when the room lit up with a flash. We were having a thunder storm!

Coming from the midwest, thunderstorms are a way of life, and nearly as common as the rain itself. Not so in Seattle. Thunder and lightning are very rare here. One of Kate's most vivid memories so far in her childhood was the night we had a thunder *snowstorm* and it sounded as if the thunder and lightning were centered over our house, booming and flashing (and *snowing*)! It was very exciting, I can see why it stuck with her.

I scooted out of bed, must have been 2:00AM, and sat out on the porch in the warm, humid night. The storm was not particularly violent, the rain slapping down in thick drops. By the time I got out there to enjoy it, it was mostly past and moving on to who knows where. I haven't sat out on a summer night to enjoy a thunderstorm in probably 20 years, and even this slight snippet of one filled me with an exhilarated calm, a feeling like a visit home. I slept well when I went back inside.

Today I have been bludgeoned by the ugly mean-spiritedness of the game industry. Not only that, but it's been like a bizarre distortion of everything I love and cherish about the industry and the people I've worked with in my career.

Taking a page directly out of 1984, I've literally seen people who have been extremely liberal with ugly insinuation and utterly reliant on back-room alliance building title their actions "fair" and "friendly" and refuse to have open discussion all while trumpeting "transparency." It's been mind-boggling.

In any other business, an employee who discovered a critical systems failure, who saved the business hundreds of thousands of dollars, who successfully managed multiple crises while safeguarding the business's key assets would be trumpeted as a hero, would see something like a raise, a bonus, or a promotion for his work. In the game industry, apparently, all that kind of skill and devotion will earn you is a pat on the back. "Thanks for holding down the fort, buddy. Now, meet your new boss. He'll be running things now that the hard work is done." I witnessed plenty of people "failing upwards" at Wizards of the Coast and elsewhere, so I suppose it should be no surprise to me, but I do always set my heart on trying for the best outcome.

Capping off a sad day, in which a member of an online community I frequent succumbed to a two-pronged attack on his health from a particularly virulent virus and cancer that refused to be budged, while still feeling sad and teary about a young life cut short in such a miserable way, I got to read a particularly foul characterization of something I've put a great deal of work into from someone I had considered to be a respected colleague. The respect was a one-way street, though, as he uncorked with a truly stunning tirade that took soul-bruising swings at everyone not considered to be on the A-List as far as game design credentials go, and called the Origins Awards (which really are just meant to be an "Atta Boy" from your colleagues for a job well done) "a celebratory glory-hole of wretched vanity and caterwauling egotism that aspires to a twenty-dollar streetwalker's idea of glamor" among other things. Ah yes, meanness is so very, very clever. Especially good if you can throw in a couple of words like "arriviste" and slam D20 and PDF publishers and mock the working class for their relative poverty and lack of Armani.

I'm disgusted by it all, and you no matter how many times you tell me war is peace, and we've always been at war with Eastasia, I refuse to buy it. It's shameful and boggling to think of how many people DO buy it.

Chris's birthday today. I was pleased when the first issue of the subscription to Giant Robot I got him arrived today. His parents once again shipped two 3-pound live lobsters from Boston, and sweet, buttery sea bugs were devoured for lunch.

Went to Bucca di Beppo with the game group for dinner. It's apparently the local birthday mecca, as there were at least five other birthdays being celebrated in our immediate area (not counting the folks who didn't inform the wait staff it was a birthday event). The place was packed with groups our size or larger (and there were seven of us!). We're out of town for two consecutive game nights due to Origins, but everyone seems to be eagerly awaiting the start of our Warhammer game. Tim had potentially happy news that an unpleasant situation that's been stressing him out may reach a satisfactory resolution soon. We have a nice group of friends and I like them to be happy.

A few years ago, I kidnapped Chris from work and took him directly to a bed and breakfast I'd found, where I'd rented a fine suite and where we engaged in decadent behavior. Another year we were in the Washington DC area over his birthday (the year we were traveling between his cousin's wedding and my brother's wedding, I think) and Chris was incredibly patient with me as I dragged him off to meet mom-friends of mine with their kids the same age as Kate, when what he really longed to be doing was visiting historic battlefields. Last year I reserved a great room at a middle eastern restaurant and several of our friends joined us for eats and drinks.

This year's gift of a magazine subscription seems gross and lame in comparison. It does not nearly convey my adoration for my husband, my devotion to his happiness, the love I feel for him and the gratitude for each day we get to spend together. As Liz says, he's obnoxious, funny, true, and mean. He makes me laugh every single day, he's far smarter and more clever than I am, and he's not afraid to do exactly what he wants to do. Every day I find him remarkable, delicious, and unlike anyone else I've ever known.

Happy birthday, punk. May you have all that your heart desires.

Recapping the last week:

I've been too damn busy. Too much to do before Origins, just too much.

Joined Flexcar since there's no telling when my claim with the car might be settled. Thinking of getting rid of the damn thing and not worrying about it anymore.

Seattle is having some weird cold snap. I finally got my heirloom tomato seedlings from Seeds of Change (shipped over a month later than originally predicted) and transplanted them, only to have all but one die in the cold. The middle of June should not find me in my footie jammies! We've had *highs* in the fifties. It's absurd.

Chris and I went out to McCormicks Thursday because Kate was at outdoor camp with her class overnight. Figured we'd have a drink and take advantage of their oyster happy hour (fifty cent oysters). It was ridiculously cold out. We sat down, I ordered a Diet Pepsi and was promptly carded. I HATE being carded. It is a HUGE hot button of mine: I am your customer, I am not a criminal. I will be 35 this year, I am a wife, a mother, a homeowner, a business owner, what the hell more do I have to do to be recognized as an adult and allowed to go about my life without being hassled? I didn't even order alcohol! It completely ruined my mood and I couldn't wait to get out of the place. I don't patronize establishments that treat me like a potential criminal when I walk in the door.

We've decided to trash the Lord of the Rings game as none of us enjoyed the system. When Chris announced that he'd decided to scrap it, we actually breathed a sigh of relief. Instead we're going to start up a Warhammer Fantasy Role Play game when we get back from Origins. We made up chartacters last session and it was such a breath of fresh air. I'm really looking forward to playing. Unfortunately, Chris's birthday falls on next game night, then Origins travel screws up two more weeks. Will just have to be patient.

Have been having insomnia again. Fall asleep for three or four hours and then jolt awake for no good reason. Last night was pretty typical: fell asleep hard by 11:00, then was awake and tossing and turning by 1:00am. Finally gave up and got out of bed for a couple hours, tried falling asleep on the couch about 3:30am, but jolted awake certain that I heard a thump of something falling upstairs. Prowled around looking for the source of the noise, found nothing, finally went back to bed and fell asleep around 4:00am and woke up around 7:30 because it was light out and Kate was awake.

The Myth of Reagan is greatly irritating me. I am sorry for his family's loss, having lost my own grandmother to Alzheimers, and having seen my own stoic, strong grandfather openly sobbing at the funeral, I do not make light of their loss or the difficult and awful circumstances of death by Alzheimers. But that whole bit about how he woke up, opened his eyes and recognized the love of his life before taking his last breath? That does not happen. It is not possible. It is possible to honor his service to the country as President without resorting to false miracles to secure his saintly status. And the rest of the well-honed rhetoric about his political contributions are still up for debate. There's no need to bring up Iran-Contra, Grenada, star wars, trickledown economics, the AIDs crisis, the increase in homelessness and the dumping of the mentally ill, or nuclear proliferation at the man's funeral, but let's also not just sweep all that under the rug in our hurry to slap his likeness on monuments and money!

I leave for the airport in a couple of hours, and won't be home again until Friday night. I've arranged for Kate to go to after school care on Thursday so she can attend the end of year school performance with friends from her class. I'm going to miss it, cementing her teacher's opinion of me that I'm an uninvolved parent.

Talked with Kate's reading teacher because I haven't heard anything about the results of the testing I'd requested at the March Intervention Team meeting we had. I signed the papers authorizing the testing April 1st, and it's "still in process" which leaves Kate pretty well high and dry until next year. The reading teacher did tell me she's pretty sure Kate will "qualify for services" next year based on the results of the testing so far. Not sure what any of this means. It's very difficult to be an advocate for your child when you don't even know what the problem is.

Yesterday was Tim's birthday, so we called off gaming and all trooped off to have steaks and other goodies at The Brooklyn. Kate was a little squirrelly but I think a good time was had by all. My black tiger prawns in brandy cream sauce were out of this world. Kate ate bread, about three bites of clam chowder, and two gigantic shirley temples. When we left it seemed like Tim and Bruce may have been locked into the parking garage they used, but Bruce gave me a ring after we went our separate ways to let me know they'd gotten the car out ok. We were able to catch a bus immediately and Kate fell asleep on us on the way home.

Please keep fingers crossed for me that this trip is productive. Much needs to be accomplished and there are forces at work attempting to prevent the job from being done.